It was a bit of an overshare, but what the hell it's only on the internet! lol
I think some of this is growing up and maturing. I don't regret my past, I had some really good times! Had some lame sad drinking with only Jesus to keep me company too. I'm just not going to sit here and blame external factors or legitimate trauma for keeping me drinking for as long as I did. I liked the buzz and I drank to get drunk. I drank because I drank. There's no talk therapy that will cure me of my AV's desire to get intoxicated. Nobody gets addicted because it didn't feel good..... so good that you wanted to do that again! MORE. It just seems like by placing the blame on issues or problems the fact that it feels so good gets bypassed when really that's the bottom line. Your brains reward centers get hijacked and you will seek that high regardless of the consequences.