Yes I definitely knew I was lying. As
a child, I began to lie to get what I
first wasn't allowed to have so id
steal or take it, then lied to cover
my azz or to try to avoid physical,
verbal and emotional abuse at the
hand of a sick family member.
Of course someone was always there
to snitch, tattle on me and still caught
hell.
What was survival in the beginning became
habit and was carried on into my adult life.
Once I entered recovery and began to
incorporate tools of a recovery program
as my guideline and falling back in my
Catholic up bringing, teaching, education,
10 Commandments, I began to work to
repair many of those character defects
and learn how to make amends and
avoid repeating old habits.
It took me a long time with 26 yrs sobriety,
a new marriage after 25 yrs with continued
willingness, openmindedness that I finally
achieved HONESTY.
Once I became completely honest in
all my affairs, then and only then was
a door to open to a freedom I had never
experienced before.
Now that I have it, I cant imagine life
without it. That to me is a Gift in life
and recovery worth achieving.
