Originally Posted by
jenniehsh 
As his ex, what is the balance between creating the space I need to heal from this relationship but also ensuring he gets the help he needs? What exactly should I do?
STOP
There's nothing more you can do or should do. NOTHING. When you get that feeling that you need to ride the line between helping him and protecting yourself, you're already way too far in. STOP, back up and resume full no-contact.
I have broken up with my ABF too many times to count and we tried "friendship" too many times to count. He's a lovely guy and there was so much that is positive about our relationship, but one thing I know: I cannot be kinda-sorta involved with him. Any contact eventually leads us back into our relationship. It's not like being friends with a normal ex - and I am friends with my XH, who is not an alcoholic, so I'm perfectly capable and willing to have this kind of relationship. My XABF is an active alcoholic and that is very different than an ex who is just an ex. An active alcoholic is literally in another world, a world that only he can get himself out of, if he ever does.
Again, I'll say that if you are riding the line between helping him and protecting yourself, you are already way too far in. Stop, back up and resume full no contact.