I am just so sorry to hear about this heartbreaking situation. I can't and won't tell you whether or not you should leave him. I suppose if it were me, and I were married to a man who was so overweight and so drunk and soiled himself in our bed...and I could not physically help him clean himself or the bed...I would call the ambulance to come and get him.
Perhaps the ride to the hospital and subsequent detoxing there might wake him up...but if nothing else, it would allow a little bit of a breather to think, reflect, and maybe come up with a plan to move forward.
Please take good care...and don't hesitate to vent here whenever you need to do so
