Yeah it's all an illusion. Quitting is only as hard as you make it for yourself. Took me a long time to understand that. I made it so much more complicated..... But my personal problems! But my friends! But I won't have any fun anymore! But my childhood! Truth is that all I had to do was stop pouring it down my throat. The rest has sorted itself out now that I stopped creating chaos and drama by getting drunk and not taking care of business. It's hard to have any real insight into your life or be moving towards real goals when you are in active addiction. You're too busy engaging in the behaviour or recovering from it. I just wish I had done this sooner...... I guess I had to be really ready though, I had to really be done with it and come to that place of acceptance deep inside myself.