Thank you so much for the good wishes. I now realize I posted this to the wrong forum as I meant this for friends and family. On the other hand, I think my husband is a good object lesson for other alcoholics. Very few people get to the level he attained in a few short years. Doctors at the hospital say he was one of the worst cases they had ever seen, and he attained all this at the age of 47. It usually takes a lifetime of drinking to sink this low. He is a determined addict and a good example of all you do NOT want to aspire to.
Even though I have no choice but to leave him, I still care for him very much. I hope beyond hope he will find it in himself to recover and perhaps losing everything, including his family (and family is really all that remains now) will be enough to say, "Gee, is drinking worth every single other thing in my life?"
I realize I am thinking about this like a rational person. A rational person would never give up even one important thing in life for booze. My God, he could take up skydiving or casino gambling or flying planes or divorcing me and ******* young models! Or even enjoy the love of his family.
But no. Sitting alone boozing it up in a bachelor apt. or homeless in a car, which is how he tell me he envisions his future, is everything. So sad.
I can't wrap my head around this tragic thinking. I just can't.