Hi All
I have been lurking in the background for a while - commenting where I can...thanking lots...but sharing nothing.
So a little update on my last day here in Vietnam.
Since AH suddenly left at the end of October '16 life has had some levels and lows (no real highs - yet)
I have gone through many stages of grief and altho I picked up threads of my life fairly quickly, I was so empty inside. I was also under huge amounts of stress because of his debts/threats to family home/family pets back in Turkey. Trying to deal across countries/languages/time zones with lawyers has proved impossible...
and then I remembered that I only cam here as part of his geographical cure - which failed as all the other 'cures'
so I move back to Turkey tomorrow!
I cancelled me new contract at school here in SaiGon and got myself a job in Ankara so my 16yrold can finish her schooling still in an IB school. She is delighted...I am nervous
He is also back in Turkey having lost his jobs here because of drinking/anger issues...and is not too far away from our home there - altho he seems to have stayed away from it..and his 'beloved' pets
Tells everyone he is divorced...new people think he has no kids...so many many lies - I do try not to listen but sometimes I fail....
I don't know if it's worth trying to get him to pay some of these debts or just to pay them myself and be free of him.
I can easily hate him...he tricked me for so long with his recovery programmes....I know I have always deserved so much better than him and my daughters most certainly did....and yet I can still feel heartbroken. How to stay strong? sometimes these snippets of info really help strengthen my resolve - but I know they could burn me too.
Looking forwards to my new job in Ankara (far enough away from my house to not ever bump into AH)
Question is...do I meet with him face to face...or let the lawyer do the talking re divorce issues?
I feel like he is such a coward ending a 10 yer marriage by running away and sending a text - part of me wants to make him squirm...but maybe he has truly moved on and has absolutely no remorse or humanity left in him. He can drink openly now - always his first love followed by easy gained money to play the generous host to yet another new set of 'friends' and women.
I have started to really question my motives in all this mess and have had some startling insights...maybe more of those lter.
Thanks for being there
tyou
tyou