Originally Posted by
courage2 
Maybe this is a good time to try something that will stretch you. Boredom and complacency create a big empty playing field for the screwed-up side of an insane/alcoholic/drug-addicted mind to exercise its muscles. You gotta keep that field dominated by what your sobriety chooses.
What would the right thing to engross and reward you? Are you really a stargazer? Maybe it's time to shop for a telescope. Or maybe build a little fountain in that backyard?
You hit the nail on the head Courage. I have been very stressed at work and home, and not made time to do anything fun for me. I feel like I have to assume god mode at both work and home to make sure things get done. It's wearing me down, and I turned to drinking over the years for my mini escapes.
Besides Del, I think that I have the least sobriety here. What did you folks with longer sobriety focus on during your third years? For me, my first year was basically learning to make it through a year of various life and calendar events not drinking. In my second year, I did a lot of reading about addiction, and understanding the biology behind my compulsions, which helped me understand my behaviors more fully. I felt that it really helped to grow and strengthen my sobriety.
I know that I need to find new goals to keep moving forward. Sometimes, I feel as though I have reached a plateau, and while the view is great, I hear myself wondering "Is this all there is?" The so called Pink Cloud of early sobriety is long gone, and the personal gratefulness with which I awoke every day, is getting faded, as I take a lot of things for granted now. My life is so much better now than during my drinking days, yet I feel that I have lost a little of the wonder of sobriety.
This period of two year sobriety seems to present a lot of challenges to people, and I have read many threads here about folks who have relapsed at this time for many of the reasons that I have mentioned. Like you said Courage, complacency seems to be a huge trigger. Naturally, stress is another.
I feel that my thinking has slowly shifted from one of making the most of each and every 24 hour day to one that is burdened by looking at all the things that I "must" get done in the coming days, weeks and months. I think Dee said something along the lines of "Being Master of the Universe is a thankless job " and I agree.
Thanks for letting me ramble my early morning thoughts out here. I think I see what I need to do. I need to renew my focus on the immediate here and now. Appreciate each new day, new hour, new minute living in the world not drinking or drunk. I need to shift my focus back to living each day, and not dwell on all the things that await down the line. Things that look overwhelming down the line usually are not a big deal when dealt with in the moment with a grateful mind.
Let me know who is the treasurer of this thread, so that I can write you a check for this therapy session!
Have a good day all!
