Hi nonpiu! I just wanted to say that for alcohol, my first week was always the hardest. I would feel such shame the immediate following days, and then by day 6 or 7 had basically forgotten how bad it was and thought eh, I'll try again. Inevitably the same result every time.
Any addiction has us thinking in messed up ways. Good for you that you recognize this and are back at it! Day 1, then day 2, and a lifetime of happiness and clarity of mind awaits you!