Healthy Boundaries!
So I feel like I haven't seen a super recent thread on boundaries, and instead of bumping one up, I thought I would start a new discussion on it since it's something I really tend to struggle with.
Before SR and al-anon, my boundaries were:
"If you drink on days we don't agree on, I will LEAVE."
Then I came here and learned that boundaries based on his behavior weren't protecting me, because I would always let my boundaries get trampled in hopes of him changing if I gave him one more chance.
Now my boundaries are:
1. I will not tolerate verbal abuse or disrespectful behavior. I will leave the room for 15 minutes should this behavior occur so that I do not respond in meanness, subject myself to further abuse, and so that the moment passes without further agitation.
2. I will not make excuses for him and his behavior. I will not lie for him or about him.
3. No is a complete sentence. I do not have to explain my decision and that my decision is final.
4. I will not ask or check to see if he has been drinking.
5. I will leave the house if he is playing loud music.
6. I will put myself and my recovery first.
What healthy boundaries are y'all setting to protect yourselves and your sanity?