Originally Posted by
Smarie78 
I kept thinking, wait...why do WE need recovery?? We aren't the sick ones! Why are people on the F&F forum talking about their recovery if they aren't alcoholics?
For an explanation, try this:
But I Don?t Want to Go to Al-Anon! And I'm sure you can find a lot more if you search a bit. When I came here, I believed I was the "good one" in the relationship and was more than a little miffed at the suggestion that perhaps I was part of the problem, even if I didn't cause the drinking. Eventually, yes, I DID see where I had a thing or two or ten or a thousand about myself that perhaps weren't healthy and that maybe I could be working on
those things instead of complaining about AH. The first option had at least the possibility of bearing some kind of useful fruit, while the second had never done me any good so far...
I realized that all the times I went were for venting about the alcoholic in my life and sharing with everyone how awful his addiction is. Maybe there was even a little part of me that liked the attention of the contest in pity for having what felt like the declaration that "my alcoholic is worse than your alcoholic!"
This is so NOT my experience of any Alanon meeting I've ever been to. I think before you worry about a sponsor, etc., you need to find a group that actually follows the Alanon program! I found that the meeting at the most convenient time and place for me was not always the one that did me the most good. Be prepared to perhaps inconvenience yourself a little in the interest of finding a healthy, useful, uplifting meeting where there is actually some experience, strength and wisdom being shared instead of being a "contest in pity" w/sharing of "my A is worse than your A" stories.
I used Alanon and SR together and found they complemented each other very well indeed. B/c my work schedule changed frequently over those years, I attended a number of different meetings, large and small, day and night, book study, step study, etc. Some I did a lot of learning in, others not as much--but once again, the focus was on US, the spouse/sibling/parent/etc., NOT on the A.