TL1-
You did/are doing the right thing. I can sympathize all too well. We lived together, did not even think about her being an A. Started to see the signs and tried to end it, but still let her manipulate her way into living with me. I too had the empathy because she did not have anywhere else to live, and no job/money support. I did not want to see her on the streets or her threatening to move to another state where her friends(major bad influence) lived. Eventually I detached pretty hard to attempt to protect myself, it was hard. This led to multiple episodes of her running away to a friends house for a weekend to drink, even infidelity. But she eventually realized how much she was messing up by HERSELF. She went into treatment HERSELF. And for that I am very proud.
It was painful to detach and eventually break up before she went into treatment. I still love her, but know it was for the best. We have talked about trying again but agreed we need space to work on ourselves. I started to feel confused about her actions and everything but reading and finding SR has been immensely helpful. Now the fog from the last couple of years is clearing slowly and I feel better day by day.
I'm using this time to reflect on my actions and reassess/reaffirm my values. Working on myself for myself.
I hope all is going well.