Hi CONTEXT95, welcome to SR
I agree with Delilah! Oh how I wish I'd had your wisdom to even question that I may have drank too much!
I was terrified of stopping drinking, Couldn't imagine life without it! I tried for years just to cut down which didn't work, one or two was never enough. I thought I'd miss out on so much, but to be honest it was the other way around. I missed out on so much being a drunk.
So when I eventually stopped, I had to learn recovery. How to live my life without alcohol. I'm so pleased I have and there are many people here who are a testament that there is life after booze, a good one!
I'm so pleased you found us, CONTEXT95, there's some fantastic people here who understand what you're experiencing.