thank you all
thanks to everyone for being so welcoming. it means alot.
and what Hevyn said was 100 percent correct. im really nervous about quitting, because in the past couple years ive been really hitting the bottle my personality has changed. i feel that im much more likable when im drunk (most of the time) so i fear that when i quit ill lose the ease with which im able to socialize. also, being an addict for this long has made me completely lose touch with myself. i dont even know who i am anymore, ive spent too long foolishly trying to make my whole life about my addiction. no other hobbies, and whenever i try to pick one up i just give up on it in a couple weeks. if i quit today i would just in my basement and stew until eventually i couldnt take it and get drunk again. i need to change my lifestyle, my daily routine and i think this community could really help. just knowing someone will read and understand where im coming from is cool, noone in my life really takes my problems seriously, as i suspect most have given up on me. both of my parents are addicts, but its just pot.