CONTEXT95

Hi everyone. Ive spent the past two years being redirected to this forum from my drunken google searches. I am 21 years old , living in Canada. I started drinking when i was probably like 15 or 16. I have a host of other addictions including cigarettes ( a pack or two of 20 each day, disgusting i know) and pot of which i smoke about a half ounce a week. All my addictions spawned around the same time, i dabbled with pot as early as grade 6 and by the time i was in grade 9 i was a full blown addict. I dropped out of highschool and started working , stupid manual labour jobs and cashier positions. Now im 21 , turning 22 in July and i keep seeing everyone around me in my life progressing, and im still in my disgusting basement drinking to escape all my problems. Im scared that my body is starting to break down, and im so young. I havent been able to breathe without wheezing in years and now i have pains in my abdomen sometimes. My stomach also makes incredibly strange noises often when im trying to sleep at night. I dont know what to do. I bought a car recently but im rarely sober enough to confidently drive it. I dont even have my G2 just my G1 and i dont think i can pass the G2 test in my state. The nearest support groups are a town or two over so im stuck in this relatively small town. I dont want to die, i used to, but ive started to realize that life can be pretty great if you just open your mind a little bit. i guess im here for some supportive words, someone to tell me im not alone, because everyone in my life looks at me like an out of control addict. I embrace it and laugh it off, but inside i am dying. i never wanted to be this person.