Why this time is harder than Dry January
I did a dry January this year. I thought I just needed a reset and I would be fine to drink moderately. Clearly I was wrong. Feb 1 was a Wednesday and even though I swore I wouldn't drink on weeknights after January, I drank that night - because I had to celebrate, right? And then the next...
Anyway, it occurred to me yesterday that January was 31 days, and aside from twice, when I was really angry, I had no problem giving up alcohol for 31 days. Truly didn't need any support or anything.
Why? Because I knew it was for January. Now I am thinking about a life without alcohol. Without whiskey on the porch with my dad, without wine tastings, without beer by the campfire... I just avoided those situations in January and now I need to plan my life to include my dad, camping, hanging out - all without alcohol. (But also without hangovers! Ha!)
That, my friends, is scary. So now I'm here because I definitely do need support. I am on Day 5 and feeling good. I am accepting that although I am high functioning, I am still an alcoholic, and that I am getting progressively worse. Stopping now is the rational decision, and as a scientist, I am all about the rational.
Thanks for all the support you have already given me and allowed me to give to others.