Originally Posted by
Babescake 
You can still do all those things, just minus alcohol. If triggers, you might not be able to for a bit. I am right there with you. Doing good until I am not.
I also do feel sad since my cousin visited recently. My other cousins kids visited years ago. 2 boys. They were a bit troubled but I didn't see any of that, I took them out everywhere. I did everything as a uncle to make them happy. Then when my cousin visited yesterday those memories came back to me. One of the boys killed himself, my cousin confirmed it yesterday. That broke my heart. His brother is in rehab and is struggling with leading a normal life. Theses things disturb me, and I cannot help but feel sad and want to drink. They live in another country and I feel helpless. If I was there, I could have changed things, changed the outcome, saved his life. I know I could have made a difference, I know it, I just do.