rosesarered,
I don’t think anyone here relishes the thought of your husband going to jail. I think what I don’t understand is that it seems like you feel he shouldn’t. Every time he drives under the influence, he is putting everyone on the road in danger. Judging by the number of DUI’s he has been charged with, it doesn’t appear that he is remorseful. He has already had his licensed revoked for life, that has not stopped him from driving. I think the next step in punishment is obviously jail time. When I read your posts, it seems that you are defending that. I understand that you are in fear for your family and your finances. I really do feel for you. I don’t think this should be something you didn’t see coming. Did you not think this day would come?
My heart hurts for your daughter. I don’t think anyone can grow up in a home with alcoholism and not be affected by it somehow. It appears your daughter may be headed down the same road. I hope she sees this before it turns into full blown alcoholism. I know that may be hard to read but believe me, I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it. When my son was 17, he started dabbling with addiction. I thought it was just experimenting and was not too alarmed by it. After all, I was so wrapped up in trying to keep the household together and tip toeing around an alcoholic husband that I never clearly saw the signs. I don’t think any underage arrest should be taken lightly. She is already more susceptible to addictive tendencies due to her genetics, compound that with the emotional distress of growing up with active alcoholism and that’s not a very good combination. It truly is a family disease. No one gets out unscathed.
You said that he has tried AA and it didn’t work for him. You then said that he has attended some Celebrate Recovery. That is also a 12 step program. What makes you think that will work for him? I think you posted that his drinking increased after this last arrest. Is he now sober? I ask this truly trying to understand where you are coming from. AA also didn’t work for my husband…..until he wanted it. Until he wanted recovery and sobriety more than anything. When you hear and read that “recovery looks like recovery”, that is true. When you see it, it is unmistakable.
Have you ever tried Al-Anon or Celebrate Recovery for yourself? It was and still is a life line for me. Please keep reading and posting.
Jaeger