Originally Posted by
Sephra 
I let someone destroy my belief in "forever", once upon a time. I got so damaged, that I would not be able to trust anyone, ever, again. I built a thousand walls to protect myself.
A long time passed.
I healed, a little.
I learned to trust myself more than anyone ever again.
I looked at other happy people in relationships and wondered why was I so flawed that I couldn't have that, I couldn't deserve it.
I gave up.
Years later, I met someone, that made me WANT to believe again. It took a long time for him to bust down my walls. Still got one or two up, probably. Still will always trust MYSELF more than anyone else, been to burned not to.
Look, what I m saying is, you have EVERY right to feel how you feel THIS minute, how else are you supposed to feel. But that you WONT always feel this way. Its gonna take more than a minute to heal, for sure. But, I promise, it gets a hell of a lot better than where you are now.
I'm so sorry that you've felt this crap before. My walls are about a thousand feet high right now. I hope you're right. Otherwise I'm just going to grow old with a bunch of dogs because they don't screw you over and violate your trust. I feel like a ship coming back from war riddled with holes and burns, halfway afloat. Damage damage damage. My god, I'm not a bad person. I'm not perfect, but I'm not a bad person. I don't deserve this. I've never been brought so low before. I am so disgusted with myself that I loved someone who would treat me this way.