I think the dissociation still is crucial but since there is no getting away from the AV there has to be an acceptance of IT being a part of you, albeit a part that is starved and ignored. You know that it's there but IT's desires don't matter. It's a rogue unwanted drive. For me I knew AVRT was working once my AV starting addressing me as You or Us or We rather that I. That's where the division of self happens. If I'm hungry I think, I'll get something to eat. But my AV will say, We should go to the bar.
I really like that analogy about grief. So true and also a good comparison to AV.