Hiker- you are the reason I learn from these posts. In many ways- I was that guy. My ex. told me when we last met at divorce mediation (where I agreed to everything she asked for and indicated I hope we all can just move on and heal) said to me she forgives me for all the crap, but the trust is gone and she will never forget. I get that- by reading these posts. So the whole point of all of that was to provide a little credibility for my share- but also to tell you that you are certainly not alone- and your decision is to be applauded and you are doing well, by my growing awareness.