I'll jump in. We seem to be back to brass tacks rather than esoteric questions of self.
I found separating the AV from myself helpful at first, but I eventually felt a need to kind of reintegrate it or absorb it into my sense of self. PART of me, for example, might want to get high sometimes, but another PART of me doesn't. I.E. ambivalence.
The way I resolve that ambivalence is to take deep breathes and connect with the moment, remind myself that I'm fine right now the way I am, that I don't need to get high, it wouldn't be good for me, and I wouldn't feel good about it later. I review the idea that craving is rooted in the desire to change the way things are, so settling into an acceptance of the way things are - the way I feel right now - is fine.
This is more challenging when I'm feeling anxious, but I also know that alcohol and other drugs (though they may temporarily bring relief) serve to increase anxiety. So, acceptance of now as it is seems to be the antidote.