Ituvia.....I think that, way down deep, you DO know "why you called him and slept with him".....
From where I sit...it looks like it was for the quick gratification and the immediate "feel good"...
Not unlike that first drink that the alcoholic reaches for....that immediate feeling of relief and pleasure.....even, though it will be the eventual thing that will/can destroy him.....
Just like that alcoholic voice that is inside the mind of the alcoholic, 24/7....that says, "do it...do it..."........Codependents have the same kind of voice that whispers to them...."do it...do it...it will feel good".......