livinginhope

One thing that hurts is having to leave friends behind. The ones who can't or won't stop drinking. There are some who seem content to drink and dope themselves to death. Poor souls who see no other road ahead.

Then there are ones who express a strong desire to stop, but can't seem to do it.

One old friend I used to party hard with. A good guy, even if we almost never see one another anymore. We now live pretty far apart. He keeps trying and failing. I care about him, and I always here to talk, to lend support or strength. A couple of weeks ago he confessed that he now has a serious, life-threatening illness brought on directly from drinking. He said that now he has no choice.

I was heartbroken for him, but offered my help. What little I can do, anyway. No matter how much support we get, in the end it's only our own resolve that gets us through.

I texted him last weekend, on the holiday. I inquired as to how he was doing. A barely intelligible reply eventually came, saying that he would stop drinking after the weekend.

I've tried since then, but I haven't heard back.

I know that we can't save everyone and that we can only control ourselves, but it is a frustrating, helpless feeling. Part of me wants to drive all the way out there and shake him into sanity, but there are usually a lot of people there with him, drinking up. I don't need that sort of scene.