It's always painful every time we do it. But we are aware n we do want the pain to end. It will one day x alcoholism addiction is a horrendously cruel n painful illness. Take today only as day one. I understand the fear of withdrawal the anxiety and the dark out of total dispar. I'm not going to tell you to vow never to drink again it's not that simple. All I want to say is this, do not beat yourself up. Alcohol will do that. I'm with u I know how **** you freel. God bless xx