Oops hit reply inadvertently.
The steps....oh.
I can do them, I'm pretty honest. I have a HP, always have. It's the admitting to someone. Not the admitting, its the some one.
I'm an #ss. I know. I'm in perfect and I fail. I know. My relationship with my HP is good. He never leaves me.
10 years ago my child disclosed sexual abuse to me. My then husband just drank. Or traveled for business. And drank. I was sober. I took care of my child. Therapy galore. Sand trays, art, talk we spent so much time and $ on therapists. I drove all over God's green earth for her help. And Mone. He didn't do ****.not even read a book. She got better, and he got worse. I got through that too. So did she. She's amazing. Beyond amazing. Right now, without using specifics, he's sober (I think) and has custody of her..he's moving so I have to go too. Not going to be without my child.but I RESENT IT. I don't want to move (especially there). I hastily dumped my beyond decent Boyfriend bc why not.? In my sobriety I not picked. He can't come. He has children of his own. Here.
I don't want to move (again, I've been dragged thru 5 states and 2 countries) I'm tired. Exhausted.
So this is why I went out.
I'm doing good now. My kid is moving very soon and i can't go until my lease is up 5 months.witjiut the child I raised every day as s stay at home mom for 12 years.. Unless I come into $7k. I have to leave a man who loves me bc of the POS man I thought I loved. He still controls me after 18 years. A good dad but totally nuts. Confirmed narcissist. Psych eval to prove.
So that's everything.
Alcohol does nothing for me...for maybe a second I forget. Then all the sick sets in. You're all aware. My story isn't unique.
Despite this, to spite this..I'm quitting again.
It makes *nothing better.
I'd rather deal with it then be so sick.
I'm capable of much. Seen worse..refuse to let Vodka get the last laugh.
Thanks for "listening". Truly. I know:heavy.
J