Suze!
My heart aches for you. I wish I had some magic words that would help you Honey. All I have is caring and support.
I can feel you pain and suffering in your post. Please remember you are not alone. I know that doesn't solve anything, but keep in mind you are surrounded by people who sincerely care about you.
Sending hugs and prayers for an outcome that is good for you. You just never know, things can sometimes turn on a dime.
Croutie