I just got banned from a building that holds my AA homegroup and a Na meeting on another day. A good amount people in my borough are upset with me because I often throw furniture or hit people at meetings. I'm very sensitive about my mental health symptoms. sometimes I'm respectful an loving, and i still get shunned because of the way I look.
I know I can't do this alone and meetings help me tremendously, but at this time I'm tired of the abuse, judgement, and isolation. this is not the first time this has happen. i'm not going to be called a "crazy f@ggot"for being me, an not smack fire out your face. i'm not going to be told I'm pretending to have mental illness just to get a check, and not hurt you. i like the program, despise the fellowship right now.
so I'm thinking of just doing my outpatient and church for the summer, then return to meetings when I'm more stable. at this point I'm not getting any help from AA members outside of my sponsor. Life is too good for negativity. I going where i'm love and appreciated.