Hi everyone!
Kinda been quiet...old Codie habits die hard!
My younger RAD stopped by this afternoon. I had to hold the tears back, she looked so good, so happy, so smiley that I thought her face was gonna hurt
She stopped by to help me with the yard work and to give me a hug...my older
Daughter (on Suboxone with no recovery plan) has been at my house for a few days looking for work, she brought along her beautiful son, my heart!
Anyway, this was the longest visit we have had since her recovery started. She showed me her key tags for her sobriety dates, she was/is so proud of them.
The positivity coming from her was so contagious, I didn't want her to leave!!! I have missed her so much.
She knows and talked to me that her sister is manipulating me, I know.
We talked about her past too. The hugs and drugs, past. It was easier this time to talk to my RAD's addiction, oddly to me, it didn't hurt as bad...but then I look at my older daughter, this disease is dragging her so deeply into that dark hole of addiction and I'm just following her with my enabling.
At least this time I have some very sharp tools in my toolbox! I will increase my support meetings and take care of myself and I know, ask the older daughter to leave, for my own sanity, what a family disease this is, it truly is BAD TO THE BONE! I realized today that I will have to do some things that hurt. But like my therapist said to me years ago..."what would happen to your girls if anything ever happened to?" Yep, I AM a good mom with children with VERY bad diseases!
Stay strong mommas, we deserve a life too and no way in he!! can we fix our children...only they can.
I believe tonight I will sleep a little more peacefully.
Thanks for listening...
TF
Hey Lyoness... Been thinking you you too
