Thebboxer

I cant really express why I have stumbled upon the first thing Google has provided me with regarding "alcoholism support forums". But it's here... let's see what happens.

I have found a place like this before...at this point years ago. (3-4 YEARS)

I am 30 years old, male, and just lost in my drinking. It has been at least six years of progressive downward spiral.

I hold down a respectable job, I am paid to do something I enjoy. So whatever a "functioning alcoholic" is I guess I may be that. But this is obviously not functioning.

My reasons for drinking once had a reason...depression, toxic home life as a teenager etc etc. Through therapy and maturity I feel I have overcome those demons. But in replace of sadness and self harm and prescribed pills alcohol has been the silent champion. I tell my psychiatrist "I'm good...doing well" when I feel that's true. No more obsessive depressed thoughts...replaced by a shot ton of alcohol dependence.

I am so tired. I am getting sick. When I don't drink for a few days I feel the pain in my body...I'm afraid of the damage I have done. I am so alone in this. In my depression I use to tell myself I would never see 30.

Now I'm 30. I'm alive...but killing myself. How does anyone quit this?

Please help me.