Hi all,
PJ, I think my friend is very low in self esteem. Her partner of 20 plus years is a difficult man, an alcoholic. He often belittles her. She is a low earning artist, and I think has stayed with him, essentially because she fears how she would thrive alone. They are not well off, but he does have a steady income from a small business.
The guy she is seeing is a musician, also in a 20 plus year relationship with a woman who has a good government job, with good benefits and I imagine he's loathe to leave this situation, even though he tells my friend that, like her, he is craving physical intimacy.
I don't know why I went off on her, my outburst surprised me and worries me.
I'm a kind person and I have supported my friend in the 9 years I've known her, through various upsets with her partner. I was very weary of it a few years ago, she was relying on me too much. Thankfully, she did begin to see a therapist, which took some pressure off me.
I don't know why I am so dogmatic about this affair. I told her the guy was a "jerk", that he took viagra on holiday hoping to screw around and wasn't she worried about getting an sti? She said they don't use condoms. She responded to my email apology, by telling me that she was sad I stormed off and that I'd made her paranoid about her lover, that he could be screwing around on her, and that she didn't want to be drawn into my paranoia and hatred of men.
So, guess we are at an impasse, and our friendship is seriously in jeopardy.
I don't feel like responding, what's the point? She showed no interest in hearing about my play reading. I told her this, in no uncertain terms. I'm not usually this blunt. Our friendship has certainly changed since I stopped drinking. She's never been supportive. Has often tired to get me to drink again.
She seduced this man whilst drunk, it's all so seedy.
Guess I'm rambling on.
Having a lazy day and reading "Brain on Fire" by Susannah Cahalan.
I'm pissed off that my friends and family only reach out when they want something of me. My sister especially. I need some support atm, but no, not a word. Have to stop myself from sending a nasty email to her. Posting here instead.
I've too much time to think. Don't know what to do, just one minute at a time, I guess.
I'm sorry we are all having difficult times, and I am grateful for the support here.
Love to all.