Originally Posted by
Nonsensical 
My guess is because it feels safer for you. If you expose your feelings to a psychopath and he spurns them, well, that's understandable. It's much less pleasant when the spurning comes from someone 'normal'.
Logically you see the lunacy, but that doesn't override the fear...
Just armchair psychology 101 based on a few sentences and a lot of assumptions. Maybe you should consider seeing a professional who can really help you sort it out.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
This^^^ I did it for years. I also thrived on the drama it created and that I was with someone more F'd up than I was. For me the more dangerous they were the safer my feelings were. It took a lot of counseling.