mathmajor

Hi everyone. I read SimplyFree's thread about not getting past day 3 and was inspired to post. I'm a 1-2x per week binge drinker. I keep struggling with trying to be a normal drinker. Limiting myself. I can't.

I made the mistake of buying a bottle of wine at the grocery store last night. I promised myself I had to do dishes and clean, and couldn't get more afterward. Wrong.

Like clockwork I walked down to the pub and bought drinks for everyone. Stayed up too late and called sick to work.

I only have the willpower to get help when I'm hungover. By day 3 or so, I cave. I can't not drink every drop.

My ex left me for things I did drunk. I'll date or invite someone over and completely blow it. Friends are pissed by me drunk texting. Nobody else really knows I have a problem. I'm barely out of college.

I'm trying to figure out why I do it. I'm guessing I have trouble relaxing and having fun.

I've called around to a few psychiatrists and they make it surprisingly difficult to get in. I can't take off work (already been gone too much). Doesn't sound like I'll fit into AA.

I've tried exercising, meditation and gratitude Journaling and articles and books. Kinda lost. I've slowly accepted this as life but it'll take me one day.

Thanks for reading.