Hi August,
Yes I have accepted that I cannot drink again and I do not want to drink again. The struggle in my writing is coming from my feelings about the program as I outlined.
I'm sorry you don't "buy it", I was only articulating my feelings and I think they are perfectly valid and I just know I'm not going to keep coming back if I continually feel pressured to do things I don't want to do. It's funny that you didn't speak in the 80 -100 day range because I was told as a newcomer i HAVE to raise my hand and share at every meeting and I was told the praying thing is mandatory so maybe I just need a new sponsor.
Originally Posted by
August252015 
Good comments above, especially from Gottalife (an AA-er like me) and Dee (not an AA-er).
Have you accepted that you can never drink again? I hear some struggle in your writing (a lot, really) and wonder what the real cause of it is? I know I RAILED against AA for a very long time and kept right on drinking. It wasn't until I knew I was absolutely DONE drinking that my life changed and AA had a CHANCE to work!
The introvert/extrovert thing...I don't buy it as a reason not to follow AA (like I don't by the "God thing" as a reason). I am quite extroverted and I didn't speak til probably somewhere in the 80-100 day range. I just listened- sometimes happily, sometimes not, sometimes really peeved at whatever (program related or not), sometimes grateful as heck....but I did what I was told and kept coming back.