A recent family event with my FOO had me scurrying back to my sanctuary as fast as possible.... and reminded me very much of the reference Briar Patch reference that honeypig spoke of a while back:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...iar-patch.html
It is EXHAUSTING to be around my family & even DD has started to recognize/comment on this as time goes on. The amount of energy that my mother & sister exert spinning in toxic circles simply amazes me at this point - it's like a train wreck I can't take my eyes off.
My mother hasn't changed so much as she simply redirected the stuff I no longer accept toward my sister instead. She is seemingly in the camp of recovering people that believe that knowing the source of your wounds is enough to create healing. It is no lie to say that her wounds & her sense of victimization have become physically rooted in her via a neverending list of issues & 'isms". She recently stressed herself out so badly that it kick-started her seizure activity again.
My sister has apparently decided that the best way to manage the situation is to step fully into the Codie Role I've vacated - right down to gaining every single pound I've lost over the last couple of years. She spends every minute trying to control everything around her, 100%. For all intents & purposes, everything in her life is great - she's got the job she went after last year, her long-term boyfriend moved in & has been a great role model for her kids, both of her kids are flourishing..... yet, she's MISERABLE & it has gone on long enough now that everyone can see it, even while she denies it. I hear her complain about the exact same things I've tried to explain to her as dysfunctional - but now that she's experiencing them, it's a horse of a different color, you know?
The only thing they really come together over is how my changes as a recovered person offend them terribly - to them, *I* am the insensitive, uncaring one. To them, I "just think it's so easy - I have it all 'figured' out".
Just when I start to wonder if I am taking Limited Contact too far, my HP shows me perfect examples of how I'm on the right path... and how that path will never again include anything more than a short pit stop in the Briar Patch; I am SO grateful.