Hello tealily, it's great that you posted! SR is a fantastic resource.
I can relate to so much of what you posted. Things can and do get better!
I think it might be a good idea to have a frank discussion with your husband about your concerns. I'd suggest too, joining the May class. I love my class!
I was in my 50s when I stopped. I went to an addictions agency for individual and group work. I'd start perhaps with a visit to your doctor?
Keep posting. Good wishes to you.