Originally Posted by
tealily 
Wine is my problem. I have tried quitting many times, sometimes making it 3 or 4 months, but always going back. I have to make a change.
I am a woman, in my 50s, a wife, a mother of older children and a wine drinker. A bottle a night lately, still functioning, hiding it for the most part from all my friends and family... functioning, but miserable .
, Hearing the glug of the wine in the glass. I know it's addiction. The pleasure is only in that moment, and then nothing but misery and deprivation follows. But I repeat and repeat. The "joys" of drinking are long gone. I don't use pretty glasses. I don't drink in restaurants or on seaside terraces. I pour plastic glasses in secret in the garage or kitchen or laundry room and hide plastic tumblers behind laundry and dishes. So glamorous.
began to drink more and more, easily falling in with the suburban mom, book club wine-drinking thing. I never thought I was "medicating myself" but realize I probably was. It started so innocently.. joining my husband with a glass of lovely wine, discussing the vintage and variety. One bottle between us became two.
At first it was only on weekends, then Thursdays, then Sundays. Then every night. First a few glasses, then a whole bottle, and more if we had it. When I realized it was too much, I announced I was stopping. Social drinking ended. Everyone knew: Tealily only drank seltzer and "mocktails". Little did they know I would stop at the store on the way home and buy a bottle to drink in full, alone at home. Finding an excuse to run to the store, making sure I have wine. Hiding the empties. Switching stores. Cringing at the recycling truck emptying our clanging can. I never go to bars, never am drunk in public.. but every night at home when everyone is asleep, I give in. I don't even try to rationalize that "I deserve it" because I know that's stupid.. I actually "deserve" better health .. not pouring a bottle of poison through my liver .. but I do it anyway. Every morning I swear I won't, but I do it over and over and over again. I have had countless Day Ones, only to falter after Day Two.
.
My story is almost identical. I decided almost 4 weeks ago I had had enough. That's it. No more drinking, no booze comes into our house.
You can do it. I follow the AVRT method, in the Secular Connections area of this site. It's basically that I will not drink ever again under any circumstances. Period. It works for me as I'm a yes/no/black/white/carb/no carb person. I can't moderate in anything.
Look into it. I have had many failed attempts at a 2d or 3d day and this concept really works for me, along with finally having enough of all the mental exhaustion that goes with the disease.