Welcome and I'm glad you posted.
It helped me a lot to come here and read and post every day. I always find inspiration here. I also didn't drink at all until my mid forties. Then things came together in a bad way - two teens at home, husband away a LOT, stressful job, health concerns, insomnia. Self-medicating with wine seemed like the perfect answer.
Do you keep alcohol in your house? My suggestion would be to get rid of it all, and don't buy anymore. I found I needed to fully accept that alcohol was not an option, ever. At that point my mind began to find new, healthy ways to cope with life.