Originally Posted by
thatwastheoldme 
what can i do?
the shame and embarrassment doesn't go away. i can't just apologize to people for bat**** crazy drunken messages from me.
an apology is just selfish. they don't care if i'm sober forever. in their eyes, i'm bound to drink and do it again. are they wrong?
god i'm a ******* moron.
That's a pretty familiar cycle to me.
I had to accept that going back the way I came meant no change, or only change for the worse.
I had to trust in the people here who said that eventually not drinking and working on my recovery, would lead me into a place of happiness and peace.
I'm promising the same to you now twtom.
It;s not easy, particularly in the early days - but drinking like we did is not easy either.
I couldn't hope to make amends for the wrong i'd done - apology is too shallow a concept for that - but I did commit to making my life a kind of living amends.
I try to live right, I try to help others, I try to be the best me I can.
Everyday.
The more I do that, the more I focus on today not yesterday.
I realised ten years back I could be who I wanted to be... Or I could drink..But not both.
Don't let shame stop you from finding happiness and peace or from reaching your full potential
D