Sugar - how's the day today? Thank you for sharing. I can so relate to the struggle. Self medicating to try and relieve the depression/anxiety and then continuing it because it eventually ends up bringing those two on harder. And more distorted. Once you get any kind of time under your belt, it kind of ruins any pleasure or relief you try to find. I'm no angel tho, I still have moments (lots of them) where I think about pills. Yesterday I went into CVS to buy something and I realized about 3 minutes into the store that I hadn't been all agitated or triggered by going in there with the pharmacy RIGHT THERE. 69 days and I just now had a day where it wasn't on the forefront. Seems like forever yet not even 90 days yet. Your addict brain wants to beat yourself up. Here to listen if you're around........