Welcome to SR saintoak. I think many of us can relate to what described in your opening post. I know I sure can. That feeling of impending doom and panic will go away if you quit drinking. I can say this from experience. I got myself into that trap one too many times and there is no worse feeling than fear. Of course our health suffers too, high blood pressure, overweight etc....The solution is rather simple. Quit drinking. Staying quit is the hard part. I think you can do it, even though you are in the alcohol industry. You just have to walk down a different path. You won't regret it.