Welcome to SR!
Originally Posted by
saintoak 
I'm great at keeping things out of the house, but I have a hard time once it is inside, if that makes any sense.
That makes perfect sense. I think it was true for many/most of us in early recovery. I'm at almost 18 months now and I can be around booze without any real issue, but I still don't keep any in my house. Better safe than sorry.
Originally Posted by
saintoak Most people don't understand how difficult it is to try and go to bed sober when one cannot remember the last time. I am guessing people here understand.
The idea of sleeping without intoxicants was a huge fear of mine, too. At the end, I just could not even fathom going to bed without at least a few glasses of booze in my system. The good news is that getting past this issue turned out to be pretty easy. Within a week or so I was sleeping well. Additionally, you will very quickly find out that your sleep is sooooooooooooo much better while sober that you won't want to go back.
Originally Posted by
saintoak I don't live in a world where never drinking again is an option.
This one I can't accept. Ultimately, you live in the same world as me. It is a world where booze is everywhere. You happen to work with it, but the difference between you and me is only one of degrees. Never drinking is an option. I'm not suggesting that you need to accept this right this very moment, but it should certainly be something that is kept on the table. There are exceptionally few people who develop addiction that can ever return to a "safe" level of drinking. I don't know if I am one of them, but I'm not about to to test the waters when I know the odds are tiny and I love my booze-free life.
Good luck. Keep posting!