welcome
I don't live in a world where never drinking again is an option. I just have to get my life together before I really hurt myself or someone else, and I think step one is sobriety.
you're kinda pulling in two directions there.
I tried to have a bet each way, but I just couldn't drink 'normally'...I just have no off switch. The point of drinking for me was to get wasted.
I didn't want to change my life - I fought it for 20 years, but it got me in the end.
I just hope you're a different kind of drinker to me, or that's a hard road ahead.