Elctrcldylnd

Hi everyone,

I am feeling really low lately and could use some advice. Here's my story.

I've been married to my husband for almost 7 years. During those years, we had a lot fun most of which involved alcohol. When his mother died, he went into the deep end and would drink every day pretty heavily. I didn't know what to do given his loss. I've pleaded with him to talk to a counselor but he has not done anything. When his mom was on her deathbed I found out I was pregnant. Since being pregnant I dialed down my drinking to one or two drinks per week and have chosen a healthier lifestyle. While I was pregnant he would drink heavily. After the birth of our daughter, I remember he would leave me alone with her for hours to do "yard work" when he was actually drinking. He'd come home barely able to walk and slurring his words. As time progressed, he's been getting worse. He has passed out doing "yard work", broke his ankle while drunk, is losing his memory etc.

I recently gave birth to #2 and prior to that I discovered he was hiding bottles on me. I have even found out he's been drinking while picking up my daughter (he takes a shooter and throws it out of the window). When #2 was born, he was home alone with #1 and I found out he went on a bender and passed out while he was supposed to be watching her! Our dysfunctional cycle is usually me ignoring it until something bad happens, I get upset and go on a tirade and use threats, then I plead, he tells me he will cut down, he cuts down for a day or two and then it just goes back to where it is. Because of his behavior, we are usually dealing with his drunkenness or hangovers so our weekends are pretty sad.

My parents recently moved here to help us out but this has only contributed to more heavy drinking due to their dysfunctional relationship. Yesterday I found numerous bottles around the house including one in his car. This shakes me to my core thinking my husband is driving around intoxicated. I always believed him when he would tell me he would never drink and drive but now I'm not so sure.

I believe that I am now dealing with postpartum depression/ anxiety. Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I feel like the worst mother in the world. He's a great father and he helps out a lot around the house but his drinking has been tearing us apart. I don't know what to do anymore. Stage an intervention? I don't know if it's alcohol abuse or alcoholism but I'm guessing it's the latter? Anyways, I guess I'm reaching out for some support. It's hard for me to attend al-anon meetings with two small children at home and I cannot trust my husband with the baby. Thanks for reading and for your feedback.