FallenAngelina

This is not "obviously."

What you write is (naturally) from a child's point of view, but clearly there was a lot more going on with the adults in your extended family than their arguing young children. Healthy adults don't start fighting with each other because their kids are fighting, especially when the kids are cousins. Healthy adults let the kids work it out to a large extent and intervene only from time to time. In a healthy family, the kids generally know how to works things out among themselves because they are surrounded by good conflict resolution modeling. In a healthy family, nobody is assigned blame as a matter of course, but instead, participants are encouraged to take responsibility for their part in the conflict.