I went through overdose 3 times with my son, twice he almost died. All happened at home and I began to feel it was almost like he knew I would save him or get help in time. The thing is, it made me even more determined to get him out of the house...he could choose recovery or he could choose to continue to use, but I was not prepared for his life to be in my hands because I am not God and 3 times was enough.
I had a good CoDA group at the time but also sought counseling because it had a dreadful emotional impact on me. What mother has to watch her child almost die by their own hand more than once?
He needs help and he has the choice to get help. Real help is there when he's ready...if he lives long enough to reach out.
But you need help too and I am glad you are standing back and taking care of your own trauma and issues. He will live or die no matter what you choose, you are not responsible for his bad choices.
Keep taking care of yourself. Getting a counselor is a good idea, this is not some little thing, the man you love is killing himself and of course it scares you and breaks your heart.
Hugs