Went to my first meeting
Not sure about the forum rules regarding discussing specific types of recovery programs, but I went to my first 12 step meeting today. It was so hard to make myself go. My brain kept telling me, 'you feel fine today, you don't need to go'. I just felt that somewhere deep down it was the right thing for me to do today, and literally had to tell myself about 50 times today "just go". I know I need to work on my recovery, and I know I need to actually take some type of action to begin that process.
Plus, I think that I really need the community and to just start making friends again, especially with people I can relate to. I actually ended up going to 2 meetings. I had planned to go to a discussion meeting nearby at 6pm, and shortly before I left, I found out there was a beginners meeting at 8pm at the same place. I'm glad I went to both.
The first meeting (discussion) was a bit of a different crowd. Not super large either. Most a lot older than me, and I'm not sure how much I could really relate to them. But still, there was some good wisdom shared by the members and a good vibe overall.
The beginners meeting was actually really good, and had a lot larger crowd mixed with many different ages and types. The focus was on gratitude, which was good for me to hear.
Overall, I felt there was a nice positive vibe. Lots of support and honesty. It felt like a pretty accepting place filled with folks from all different walks of life. I actually kind of snuck out of there pretty quickly afterwards, and did not socialize or get any numbers since my nerves were pretty shot (as they have been lately). I sort of just wanted to observe today. But it was a good experience, and I plan on going back. Might try a few others as well..