Originally Posted by
biminiblue 
I think she will learn by your example.
Fantastic point. I had to get humble & vulnerable & Real in order to lead DD through all this. I had to be able to own my missteps & real emotions in order to show her it was ok & necessary to feel her own.
I have read it over & over & over in psychology studies, you can tell a child 100,000 times to do something but in the end they will imitate what they see regardless of what they "know" they should do ~ almost across the board, 100% of the time. What they see us do & what they hear us say is what they will carry forward in their own world.
I've made sure DD (also 12
) knows that no question is off limits & sometimes the answer really IS, "I don't know" because I'm learning & growing too. The most important thing for me is that she is comfortable talking real about it - even if she's more comfortable talking with another adult instead of me. It also helped DD to understand addiction as a Whole - not just about alcohol, but how we as people often struggle with all kinds of things..... drugs, sex, gambling, food, workaholism, etc.
my tendency is to try to explain, reason, etc.
Oh yes, I was an expert at JADEing. (Justify, Argue, Defend & Explain)...... that's another loop to watch out for & when you recognize it, take a purposeful step out of that pattern.
