I was sometimes asked to participate in the "family" side of my son's recovery programs and most times I chose to go. I never felt that any part of his addiction was blamed on me, nor his recovery being my responsibility. They knew I was attending meetings for codependency, CoDA and Al-anon were my groups, and they didn't push at all.
That said, if I had been uncomfortable going, or not prepared to leave if it got nasty, my own fears might have got in the way.
In the end, I understood better what was required of him in his recovery and to let him find his own way, while taking care of myself as well. I didn't have to put my needs and life aside to take care of his...and this was my son so him living on his own or in a sober living home was ever so much better than him living at home.
I hope this ends well for both of you. Preparing a Plan B is always a good idea if for no other reason than to give you the confidence that "you" have choices, regardless of his own.
Hugs