Originally Posted by
atalose 
Keep reminding yourself that HIS recovery is not dependent on what you do or say or don't do or don't say. HIS recovery is dependent on what HE says and what he does. I agree, you do what feels comfortable for you.
Also keep in mind that those counselors are HIS counselors and they will advocate for him and if he begins to fear you may leave him, they may try and get you to agree not to, at least for a while. And they will try and talk you into coming to a "family" weekend or try and include you via the phone in his recovery. One rehab my ex was in they did that and I really didn't know any better and of course wanted to help and support his recovery. I must say that I felt put on the spot and felt guilty if I did not. BUT I learned so when the next rehab came along and his fear of me leaving him turned into his next obsession, they reached out to me and attempted to bring me into HIS recovery and I said NO, that I was working on my own recovery and it was best that he work on his own.
Interesting! Yeah, my gut reaction was that I didn't want to feel responsible for any of it. I did tell the guy that it probably wouldn't mean anything if all the info they got was from me. My AH definitely had worries before he left that I won't be here when he comes back, though I told him that I would be here and had no plans of leaving if he truly got into recovery. I'm sure you're right that his counselor would have advocated for me not leaving now. I did go and do more work on Plan B today, so I feel kind of duplicitous, though duplicity has been my husband's M.O. for a while. His was due to wanting to get high and mine is a result of self-care, so they're not quite even. Misplaced guilt on my part.
The guy said there would be a family conference call later in the process. You think those are not helpful? I can't imagine what that call would be like, honestly.